Sophie
by Beckilles
Summary: Gillian's world has just been turned upside down. Will Cal be there to comfort her? Note: This story takes place about a year or so before season 1.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! It's been a while and I still miss LTM like crazy :(  
Some of you may have already read this first chapter as it's an old one-shot that I'm now continuing on with. There should be a few more chapters after this one. So thanks for those of you who have stuck around thanks for the support! I really appreciate it! :)

This story will start with with a T rating but the rating will jump to M by the third chapter. Just warning y'all.  
Cheers, B

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**_1. Sophie_**

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Sitting at his desk, Cal picked up his cell and called her number. It was past midday and she still hadn't checked in. He hadn't seen or heard from her all day which was very unlike Gillian. Maybe something had come up with Sophie and she had forgotten to call in. He could remember what is was like when Emily was a baby; running around out of your element trying to do a million things at once.

Waiting a moment, he heard Gillian's voicemail answer. "Hey love, it's me. Just checking in. Call me when you can," he said before hanging up.

She had probably meant to call but just been side tracked he thought; a smile tugged at his lips as he thought of her nursing a sleeping Sophie in her arms.

She was a natural; motherhood definitely suited her. She had a radiant glow about her. Mothering was second nature to Gillian, and after all the pain that she and Alec had gone through, trying to conceive, he was happy for her. Happy that she was finally able to have the family she yearned for, that she deserved. Even if it was with Alec, he thought bitterly.

Cal remembered all the times Emily would come into the office. She would run and greet Gillian, rather than come into see him first. He chucked lightly to himself. At times he felt Gillian was more of a mother figure then Zoe had been. Of course Zoe loved Em; he never doubted that. However, there was something about Gillian; her warmth, the way she was able to love unconditionally. The way she made everything seem alright, and how she had taken to Emily instantly, treating her as if she were her own. He was grateful Emily had someone like Gillian, and he knew Emily adored her.

Cal remembered coming home from the office one night to an extremely annoyed Zoe. Apparently Emily had to write about what she wanted to be when she grew up for a project in school and she happened to write Gillian. Not a psychologist or doctor, but she had written that she wanted to grow up to be '_Miss Gillian Foster'_. Cal couldn't hide his amused expression, which in turn, led to a fight between him and Zoe about how Emily was her daughter and not Gillian's, and that she had forbade her to come to the office anymore. He remembered that fight was especially nasty as he tried to keep the peace but he felt compelled to stand up for Gillian. She had done nothing to deserve the attack from Zoe. He remembered spending the next week in the guest bedroom.

A week or so later, Gillian had inquired as to why Emily hadn't been around. He had made up some story about Zoe wanting to spend more quality time with her. He would never forget the look in Gillian's eyes when he told her, how she tried to hide the hurt. She knew it was more than that; she knew he had just lied to her, and she knew that she was somehow the reason.

Shaking his head slightly, he pushed those thoughts aside. If she hadn't called in by the end of the day, he would pop by her place on the way home just to see if she needed anything. If he was honest with himself, he'd have to admit that it was a good excuse to see Gillian in her element, nursing her beautiful baby girl.

Kicking his feet off the desk, he jammed his cell into his pocket. Checking his emails to see if he'd received any form her, all he found was the usual requests, but nothing from Gillian. Sighing to himself, he pushed in his chair before sauntering off in search of Loker.

It was mid-evening and Cal fidgeted nervously with his cell. He hadn't heard from Gillian all day and that wasn't like her at all. Switching off his computer, he walked out of his office, trying her cell once again. Expecting it to ring, he was surprised when it went straight to voicemail. Gillian never turned her phone off, ever, he thought worriedly. Making his way to the car, he wasted no time as he tore out of the parking lot, and headed towards her house. Gripping the steering wheel tightly he tried to calm himself. He told himself that he was more than likely overreacting to the situation, that everything was perfectly fine; however, an uneasy feeling had settled in the pit of his stomach.

Speeding through the streets of D.C, he pulled onto Gillian's street twenty minutes later, not caring that he just violated several laws as he rushed to her house. Pulling the car to a stop in front, he saw her car parked in the drive way. Her house clouded in darkness, he couldn't see a single light coming from the windows, which he thought was strange.

Cal jogged up to the front door and listened for movement. Hearing nothing, he gently knocked and waited a moment. Becoming anxious, he reached into his pocket and retrieved his keys, finding the brightly coloured orange one that Gillian had 'especially made for him' in case of emergencies, she had said with a small smile. Slipping the key into the lock, he noted that is wasn't locked and opened the door, entering the darkened confines of her home. Everything looked in order as he walked down the hallway, flicking on a light as he went. He observed the washing basket at the bottom of the staircase, neatly folded baby clothing in it, and smiled to himself.

He moved further into the house, and in walking past the kitchen, he peered in. Cal noticed the dishes were still on the table, food left unfinished on them. He saw the baby bottles strewn about on the floor haphazardly, but what caught his attention the most was the smell of stale scotch. Switching on the light, he found the source. Broken shards of glass littered the floor, and a sizable mark was left on the wall from where he assumed the bottle had struck. His heart hammered against his chest, as he spotted a few drops of blood on the floor. _Christ, what the hell happened here?_

Instinct kicking in, he ran up the stairs to Gillian's bedroom but found it empty. He stopped for moment and heard a soft whimper coming in the direction of the nursery. He approached cautiously, listening for any other sounds, as he tried to make sense of the situation.

The nursery door was slightly ajar, and he gave it a gentle nudge as he opened it fully. There was a small night light in the corner which cast soft shadows over the room, letting his eyes adjust and spot a crumpled up figure leaning against the crib. He could recognise her anywhere, he thought. Gillian had her knees pulled tightly to her chest, clutching onto a pink baby blanket. She stared motionlessly at the wall in front of her.

"Gill," he called softly, hoping to break her trance. His eyes roamed over her face, he could see they were red rimmed and bloodshot. Her cheeks were stained from tears that had fallen earlier.

Fear griped his middle instantly. Crouching down beside her, he tried again.

"Love, are you hurt?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

Gillian's gaze shifted from the wall to Cal for a brief moment, as she gave a slight shake of her head in response, before staring blankly at her lap.

He wanted to reach out and touch her, pull her into a bone crushing embrace, but stopped himself. "Love, where's Alec?" he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral as he watched her closely.

"Out," she stated simply, her voice void of emotion. Cal watched as a brief glimmer of emotion flickered across her features. Her eyes narrowed and as her jaw clenched tightly.

Cal balled his hands into fists at his side, trying to suppress the anger he felt for the man she called her husband. He looked into the crib and found it empty.

"Gill, where's Sophie?" he probed gently. He silently prayed that Alec didn't have her.

"Gone," she whispered, her voice wavering.

Cal looked at her, confusion evident on his features. "Gone?" he repeated. "Does Alec have her?" he asked quietly.

"No," she told him bitterly. "She's with her _mother."_

He watched as tears pooled in her eyes and realisation dawned upon him. Reaching out, he gathered her in his arms and pulled her into his lap.

"I'm so sorry, love. God Gill, I'm so sorry." He whispered softly into her hair, stroking her back as he felt her body shake uncontrollably.

She let the tears fall, coming undone the moment his strong arms wrap. Closing her eyes tightly, shutting out the world, she clutched to his shirt. Burying her face into his chest, she soaked the material in seconds.

He rocked her gently and heard her gasping for air.

He felt her breathing become shallow and he stilled their movement, gently cupping her cheeks.

"Deep breaths, love," he told her gently.

"That's it, that's my girl." He quietly encouraged as she slowed her breathing. His thumbs caressed her tear stained cheeks, and he placed delicate kisses to each eye lid, as if doing so would somehow ease her pain.

The pain of having her daughter taken from her.

The pain of losing something that could never be replaced.

He knew it was foolish to think he could take it away, but if he could, he would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat.

Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him through glassy eyes.

He could see the anguish on her face, the sadness in her eyes, and his heart broke.

She moved her arms to encircle his neck, and rested her forehead against his.

"They called over the weekend. They took her last night," she told him softly, her voice cracking. "They took my daughter. Alec and I got into a fight. He couldn't handle it, so he left. HE LEFT, Cal," she cried, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Who does that? He left me here. He left and he didn't even say goodbye to her. He said he couldn't. He couldn't say goodbye to our fucking daughter." She sobbed as her body trembled violently.

Cal held her, swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat. She didn't deserve this; she deserved so much more, he thought angrily. He couldn't believe Alec had left her here, to deal with it on her own. He should have been here for her. _Why hadn't she called him? Why hadn't he come earlier_?

Cal was brought out of his thoughts when she tightened her hold around his neck. Shifting in his lap, he suppressed a moan deep in his throat.

Placing a soft kiss to his lips, she looked down at him. "Please, Cal. Make it stop," she pleaded, kissing him again, letting her tongue briefly trace over his lips.

"Make it go away," she whimpered softly, before leaning in and capturing his lips. There was nothing tender in her kiss; she needed to feel something, anything other than the agonizing ache that was currently surging through her body.

She knew it was wrong, knew what she was doing wasn't right. Her best friend; the one man she could always count on, was here comforting her, instead of the man she married.

Cal's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't expected this response, however he parted his lips briefly and let his tongue brush against hers. She shifted in his lap, causing him to groan into her mouth.

Tearing his lips away from hers, he took a second to catch his breath. "Gill, stop. This isn't you." He told her gently, his strong hands at the nape of her neck.

She moved her hand from around his neck, and raked her nails down his chest. Feeling the muscles quiver beneath her touch. She reached the belt buckle, fumbling slightly as she shakily dipped her fingers into the waistband of his pants, grazing the sensitive skin there.

"Cal, please," she begged. "Make it stop. Just make it stop." she cried, as ears slipped down her checks. Through blurry eyes, she crushed her lips to his roughly.

He instantly opened his mouth to her, tasting her tears as their tongues danced. He could feel her hand move further into his pants, moaning loudly when she wrapped her delicate fingers around his length.

Releasing her lips, he removed the hand that had twined in her hair and lightly grasped her wrist, stilling her movements. He gently tugged at her wrist until he felt her release him. If it were anyone else, he would let it continue; but not Gillian. He respected and cared for her too much. He loved her and couldn't let her do this. She was hurting, and as much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn't let it go any further.

Sighing softly, he pulled her close.

She buried herself into the crook of his neck as sobs racked through her small frame. She felt so fragile wrapped in his arms, and he was scared that the slightest movement would break her.

Gillian curled into him, clutching him tightly. "I'm sorry." She sobbed softly.

"Shhh, darling. You've got nothing to apologise for." He whispered into her hair, while stroking her back gently.

Gathering her into his arms, he stood, holding her tightly to his chest. He walked them into her bedroom and placed her gently on the bed, watching as she curled up on her side. He pulled the quilt up and covered her shaking form.

"Sleep, love. I'll just be down stairs," he whispered, softly placing a kiss to her check. Turning to leave, he felt her small hand grasp his wrist tightly. Looking back, he found her staring back up at him, her eyes puffy and filled with unshed tears.

"Stay," she pleaded, her voice thick with emotion. "Please."

Nodding slightly, he agreed. "Of course."

He watched her shuffle over, making room for him to lie next to her. He moved slowly, hesitantly lying beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and felt her relax against him. After a few minutes, he felt her breathing even out and placed a soft kiss to the back of her head.

"Don't leave me," she mumbled softly as she drifted off into a restless sleep.

Cal swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and held her tighter as he rested his head against her shoulder.

"I'll always be here, love. Always."

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Comments always appreciated :)


	2. Chapter 2

**_Second chapter up.. _**

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**_S_****_ophie.2_**

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For a moment Gillian had thought it had all been a terrible nightmare. For a split second in her semi conscious state, she had thought that Sophie was still in the next room, sound asleep, tucked safely away in her crib. And in that second, she felt the ache in her chest subside and she was able to breathe again. However, that moment was short lived when she felt a hard warm body stir behind her. She wasn't surprised that he was still there; she knew that no matter what she could always count on him.

Cal was her rock, her protector, her best friend.

She sighed heavily and turned in his arms. He looked peaceful in slumber his jaw slack and brow relaxed, the lines on his rugged face barely visible as he laid there next to her. Gillian closed her eyes and willed the tears to stop as she felt the salty liquid slip down her cheeks. She wanted the pain to stop, wanted to feel something other than the agonizing pain that was engulfing her. She needed to know this wasn't her fault. She needed to feel loved, wanted and safe.

Gillian resented Alec in that moment. She had never felt such anger towards another human being, let alone her husband. He was supposed to be the one holding her, comforting her, reassuring her, not her best friend.

Lifting her hand, Gillian traced a slender finger across his brow, shifting closer. She placed a gentle kiss to his cheek and noted how his rough stubble lightly tickled her lips. She repeated the action with slightly more purpose and placed a delicate kiss to the corner of his mouth while trailing her hand down his chest. She shouldn't be doing this. She was married for god sakes but she just wanted to feel something, anything.

Cal's eyes flew open as he felt a small hand begin to undo the buttons on his jeans. Shaking his head in an effort to regain his bearings, he realized he was still in Gillian's bed. He felt her dainty fingers slip under the waist band of his boxers and stilled her wrist with his hand.

"Love, what are you doing?" he questioned gently. He knew that she was in a fragile state at the moment and that her current actions were spurred on by grief.

"Shh." she whispered hoarsely and placed her lips to his.

Cal could taste the tears on her lips and knew he had to stop her before she did something she would later regret. Lifting his hands to her face, he cupped her cheeks gently and gently pulled apart. "Gill this isn't you, love. You don't want to do this."

"Cal, please." Gillian pleaded between silent sobs. "I want it to stop, please just make it stop." she begged him as tears freely fell down her pale cheeks.

Cal felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as he watched his best friend break in front on him. He pulled her close and held her shaking form as she sobbed into his chest. "It's ok, love, I'm right here." He whispered soothingly. "I'm right here." Cal had never seen her like this. He knew nothing that he could say or do would erase the pain she was feeling, but he would have done anything in that moment to help ease her pain. Cal felt her body begin to relax as he cradled her to his chest.

Shifting her leg on either side of his hips, she buried her face into his chest. She felt the way he tenderly stroked her hair with one hand, while the other traced soothing patterns down her spine. She shivered when his fingers made contact with the bare skin of her lower back, her blouse having ridden up slightly. Nothing made sense; she couldn't think, couldn't breathe. The only thing she knew was that she felt safe with his arms wrapped around her, and craved the closeness that he was offering.

Gillian slowly lifted her head from his chest and was met by Cal's concerned and loving gaze. She felt his hands slip down and rest on her hips as he helped support her weight.

"Gillian, love..." Cal spoke before his sentence was cut short by her lips pressed forcefully to his. He opened his mouth instantly to her and groaned when he felt her shift above him. He couldn't let this happen, not now, not while she was hurting. He moved a hand to her face and gently pulled back. He wasn't prepared for what he saw in her eyes. She looked lost and fragile, the pain and fear evident even in the dark room; but there was something else, the slightest flicker of arousal was evident on her delicate face.

There was no denying that he had imagined being intimate with Gillian, on more than several occasions. But truth be told she was forbidden fruit; something he had always desired but knew he could never have. He wanted more than anything to comfort her in the way she was asking; however, he knew it could never happen. Not while she was married and especially not under the current circumstances.

Cal felt her shift her body against him with purpose and was unable to suppress a throaty moan. Capturing her face between his hands, he stilled her actions. "Darling, you know there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, but not like this. I know you, Gill. I know you're hurting and you think this will make you feel better, but it won't. Trust me; it will only make you feel worse." He tried.

He watched as she digested his words, and prayed that he had gotten though to her. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to deny her. He felt her sigh, and lean into his touch before pulling back and settling on his lap.

Cal realised a sigh of relief, he had gotten through to her….or so he had thought.

He watched as she swiftly lifted her blouse over her head and tossed it into the darkness. "Cal, please help me forget, I need you to help me forget," she begged.

"Please."

Gillian knew it was unfair to ask him to do this, knew that she was crossing every line and boundary they had ever set, but she needed this. She needed to know that she wasn't a failure as a woman, as a wife, or as a mother. She needed a release, if only for a little while and she trusted Cal. Gillian knew that Cal had always been attracted to her, she could feel the hard evidence of his attraction beneath her. She knew Cal would never judge her for this, and on some level she knew she was being self-destructive, knowing that the guilt she would feel would eventually destroy her already doomed marriage. But she didn't care in that moment. She needed him in every way possible.

Alec hadn't touched her in months, and she needed to feel something, anything. He was probably out somewhere getting high; doing god knows what with god knows who.

"Gill, you don't know what you're asking me to do. You're married love, and what about Alec..." Cal watched as her faced contorted in anger at the mention of her husband.

"Don't, Cal. Please just don't. Alec hasn't touched me in months. I can't say that I blame him. I couldn't give him a child and now Sophie." Gillian spat, as she choked back tears. "But he left me alone, walked out the door, said he couldn't handle it. He didn't even say goodbye to our daughter, Cal." she sobbed. "What type of man does that to his family?"

"Please." she whispered as she placed a salty kiss to his lips. "Help me."

Cal watched as his gorgeous, half naked partner, had just bared her soul to him. He had seen the desperation, the fear, and agony etched across her beautiful face. He had never hated Alec as much as he did at that very moment. He had left her to deal with all this by herself, after everything.

Looking at her half naked form in the dimly lit room, she was truly a vision, even in her current state.

"Are you sure about this love? He asked gently, no trace of judgement in his tone.

"Cause this is a bell that can't be un-rang"

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**_Comments and suggestions always appreciated. _**


	3. Chapter 3

_Here you guys go.. Sorry about the wait and sorry for any errors ect.._

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**_"Are you sure about this love? he gently asked, no trace of judgement in his tone. "Cause this is a bell that can't be un-rang"_**

"I'm sure." She whispered softly and placed another feather light kiss to his lips.

That was all the confirmation Cal needed. He lightly trailed his fingers over her ribs before letting them ghost over the sides of her breasts and heard her breath catch in the back of her throat. He moved his fingers gingerly across her clavicle tracing the admiring the adorable smattering of freckles that adorned her porcelain skin; he had only ever had the pleasure of seeing them from afar. Cal noted the rapid rise and fall of her chest as he moved his fingers over the creamy flesh of her shoulders before lightly gripping the back of her neck.

"You say the word Gillian, and I stop." he told her gently before moving his lips closer to hers.

"Ok love?"

"Ok." she nodded softly before she felt his warm lips pressed against her on.

Gillian opened her mouth to him instantly and the battle for dominance began. She moaned softly as Cal drew her bottom lip between his teeth and tugged at it gently. She had, at one stage, craved this connection and intimacy from her husband. She was the good girl and had never before entertained thoughts of being unfaithful to him. However in that moment she yearned for Cal, Alec never entering her thoughts.

Cal hesitated at first afraid that she would break in his arms, before letting her take the lead. He knew that this, whatever this was,was as much about control as it was forgetting. Gillian needed to reclaim some semblance of control and he w as just glad that he could be there for her, however she wanted.

The kiss had started slow, sweet and tentative; however it had grown into one of raw need as he felt Gillian's hands begin to claw at his shirt. Cal felt her respond to him as the intensity of her actions increased and moaned when he felt Gillian grind down against him. He moved his hands that had been tangled in her hair down her spine and reached the clasp of her bra. With one skilled flick of his wrist he had it undone.

Gillian sat up and finished removing the garment from her body. She stopped momentarily overwhelmed by the look she had seen in his eyes. Suddenly becoming self conscious she dropped her eyes to his chest and avoided his gaze.

"Hey now, darling. None of that." he gently chided as he hooked a finger under her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "You've got nothing to be embarrassed about Gillian. You're bloody gorgeous." he reassured her and gently moved his hands to cup her breasts. Taking the weight of them in the palm of his hands, Cal watched as an adorable blush crept up her chest and painted her delicate cheeks.

He had always wondered how it was possible that she didn't know how truly beautiful she was. When they walked into rooms he would always catch men staring at her, but she seemed oblivious at the effect she had on the male species. He loved that about her. She was gorgeous and genuine without even trying.

Cal noted the way her eyes fell shut as he ran his thumbs across her hardened nipples, her lips slightly parted. He gently needed the supple flesh before expertly flipping them over so that he now hovered over her. Cal heard her release a surprised gasp as he changed their position; his mouth sort out hers giving, her know time to respond. This kiss was anything but tender. It was passionate and demanding as he tried to convey to her how stunning she was through his actions.

Gillian needed more; she needed to feel his naked flesh pressed against her own. She quickly found the hem of his shirt and tugged at it roughly; pulling it above his head and tossing it aside in a frenzied manner. She couldn't keep her hands idle, she needed to feel him, all of him.

"Pants," She murmured against his lips, as her hands found button of his jeans.

"Patients love." He told her, stilling her hands and raising them above her head. He saw the confused look on her face. "This is about you Gill, not me." he gently explained and placed a kiss to her lips as he released her from above her hands.

He trailed his lips along her throat and down her chest before he tenderly lavished each breast; letting his tongue flick over her taunt nipples. Cal heard a soft moan escape her lips and repeated the action again before moving his attention further down her body; her responses to his ministrations giving him more he continued his exploration, he trailed hot, wet kisses down her stomach letting his tongue dip into her belly button before moving lower, stopping as he reached the waist band of her pants.

Gillian felt him pause and opened her eyes to find him looking up at her; waiting for her to give him permission to proceed. She had always known that he cared for her deeply, but to actually experience and feel his tenderness; it was overwhelming. She had never seen this side of him before.

Cal was about to become the only person to truly know her, all of her, both physically and emotionally. It both scared and thrilled her. She had never had this sort of connection with Alec. Sure she loved Alec, but it was a vanilla sort of love and Cal was anything but Vanilla. She had never opened up to any one like she had Cal and taking this next step terrified her, but she felt something. Gillian no longer felt numb she felt safe and loved. That made everything easier to handle and momentarily ignore.

Nodding her head softly, she moved her hands to her pants and unhooked the first button. She was about to lower the zipper when Cal's strong hands stopped her. He placed a reassuring kiss on the insides of her writs before moving to the zipper and lowering it slowly. He hooked his fingers on either side of her hips and simultaneously removed her pants and panties from her body, leaving her vulnerable and naked in front of him.

Cal looked at the vision that now laid in front on him and knew there would be no turning back after this. Feelings that he had denied for so long would be confirmed and she would hold his heart, wether she wanted to or not. He would always be there for her in any capacity that she would allow him to be. He pushed those thoughts aside and refocused on his partner, his best friend, laying beautifully naked and exposed in front of him.

"Stunning, "he whispered appreciatively as he moved up her body so they were now nose to nose.

"Absolutely stunning." he reiterated before he captured her lips in a searing kiss.

Tongues battled and teeth clashed as their need for one another overtook all rational thought.

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Comments and Reviews always appreciated.


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